Danger! Tall Grass!

Nov 13

Look at this fancy ass hipster bitch.
This bitch is so hipster, I can’t even break down this shit.
He’s got a tiny ass hat sitting in the middle of his yellow as fuck hair.
His hair’s looking like fucking — I don’t know. Like Moses parted that shit and put a little ass hat in the middle.
That hat has no fucking purpose so you know this bitch is ironic as fuck.
His eyes are half opened.
So clearly this bitch is high. All the god damn time.
He’s got his little ass hands on his little ass waist, just like “look at me bitch, I’m cool as shit.”
His head fucking looks like Stewie from Family Guy. And this was before Family Guy was even made. Bitch is so avant garde and shit.
Then all you non hipster bitches think this is a skirt?
The fuck? A skirt?
Bitch. Best believe that’s a sweater thrown over a goddamn plaid tunic.
Bitch is so fucking avant garde and shit.
AND he’s wearing the scenester blue tights and black moccasins.
Bitch.
Look.
Just…
You wish you were as hipster and as too cool for school as this bitch.
That’s why he’s got them hater ass bitches like Helga all over him.
And a Grandpa that looks like he’s got balls for a chin.
Cause they’re all baller bitches.

Look at this fancy ass hipster bitch.

This bitch is so hipster, I can’t even break down this shit.

He’s got a tiny ass hat sitting in the middle of his yellow as fuck hair.

His hair’s looking like fucking — I don’t know. Like Moses parted that shit and put a little ass hat in the middle.

That hat has no fucking purpose so you know this bitch is ironic as fuck.

His eyes are half opened.

So clearly this bitch is high. All the god damn time.

He’s got his little ass hands on his little ass waist, just like “look at me bitch, I’m cool as shit.”

His head fucking looks like Stewie from Family Guy. And this was before Family Guy was even made. Bitch is so avant garde and shit.

Then all you non hipster bitches think this is a skirt?

The fuck? A skirt?

Bitch. Best believe that’s a sweater thrown over a goddamn plaid tunic.

Bitch is so fucking avant garde and shit.

AND he’s wearing the scenester blue tights and black moccasins.

Bitch.

Look.

Just…

You wish you were as hipster and as too cool for school as this bitch.

That’s why he’s got them hater ass bitches like Helga all over him.

And a Grandpa that looks like he’s got balls for a chin.

Cause they’re all baller bitches.

(via justineenriquezzz)

Jan 30

Because dammit, the concept of pixels and resolutions is just too annoying to deal with. I mean, the audience won’t know the difference, right?

Jan 26

Tall grass, and the raptors and Pokemon therein

Everyone likes dinosaurs, but some of us liked them… a bit more. I would obsessively watch Jurassic Park and half want the dinosaurs to kill off the fleshy bald primates and take over their island. “Dinosaur eats man…”

I don’t think I ever qualified as a Pokemon nerd per se, but I was always a huge fan of the video games. I still remember going in to a Best Buy, sunlight streaming in through the large front windows, and buying a Game Boy Color and Pokemon Red, while my brother got his own system and the Blue version. Combined with a link cable, and we were ready for madness! It took me a while as I recall getting home to figure out exactly how to turn on the device (I kept on hitting the volume or something) but I was hooked from then on. I favored Charmander, while my brother took the easy route of Bulbasaur. Pansy. Of course I didn’t actually know how to catch Pokemon until some stranger at my brother’s Little League game showed me that I had to weaken them first. Having wasted all my cash on Poke balls, I set out to catch about sixty Rattata, then ended up restarting the game. (Give me a break, I was barely eight.) When we went to Paris the next year, I mostly remember trading Pokemon in the hotel room (I got Golem!) than the landmarks (oh, and crappy movies about the French resistance always on.)

Jan 24

So then…

Dusting off the ole’ Tumblr account, adding some custom styles from an old website design I never used… still a few bugs in the system. This reminds me of how much I actually hate blogging. Just seems like a waste of time… when I’m writing, I enjoy doing so with a purpose. So I edit Wikipedia because I enjoy learning about new stuff and sharing that information, and I edit Associated Content because I enjoy condensing the articles I write for Wikipedia, selling them for $4, and then earning money on page views for some extra cash. But just blogging? Not really. Oh wells, here’s to another year.

Danger! Tall Grass!

Raptors, wild Pokemon... it's a jungle out there.

Tall grass, and the raptors and Pokemon therein

So then…